Mrs. Robinson’s Blog

I have been SO sick! I started getting a headache on Monday during snow day and my energy levels drooped that evening. Tuesday – Friday I was moping around the flat in my pjs – rallying in the day a bit but spending the nights hugging the loo. Over the weekend I stopped being sick and am back in the office today – but my appetite is still tiny and I feel worn out!

Mark was amazing though and looked after me with such patience and grace. He is much better than me at this whole self-sacrificial thing.

ok – back to work – those notes won’t type themselves up will they?!

How rubbish have I been at posting?! I blame the January blues, busy work, 24 box sets and our new Xbox 360 arrival….

So here’s a little ‘things whizzing round my head’ of recent times….
– today – Mark’s eldest sister is going into hospital after the new baby she was carrying died at 10 weeks. Even though she already has five healthy wonderful children, they are all terribly sad to lose this little one (they have named the baby Francis). Thank God that when life is crap – he’s right there in the crap with us. All prayer for Sandra and Peter extremely welcome.
- I feel stupid even typing this after that last one – but I had a BAD haircut recently which has made my layers all blunt and unmanageable. Has got me down – and that annoys me because I thought my self-esteem was so much more securely rooted in God these days and all it takes is one bad haircut to drag me down. Grrr….am hoping Jo (my regular hairdresser who was away in Australia) can rescue it.
- I went to get waxed yesterday at a new place and it was great. The girl was really friendly and I got to share my testimony with her. It’s about the third time I have done that with someone over a waxing session!!! It’s amazing how easy it is to get to Jesus…..’yeah I haven’t had this done much as I’ve only just got married…..yeah we didn’t sleep together before we were married…..I know – yes, very difficult – wouldn’t do it for anyone but Jesus…’ hehe…
- had a nightmare last night that I had a screaming row with a friend – I hate those – you wake up all wierd. It’s a friend I’m walking a ‘truth and grace’ line with at the mo and it’s hard to know how to be a Godly friend.
- it’s date night tonight – hurrah! I love date night. Mark is always on top form on date night and we have such fun being silly together and hanging out.

http://www.storyofstuff.com

In the run up to Christmas, this had given me food for tought about what I buy for people. Well worth a watch.

I have a recurring dream. It has been over 8 months since our wedding but I keep dreaming that we are having another wedding service and I get the dress on and everything – but there’s no-one to do my hair – so I know I won’t look as fabulous as I did on the actual day.

What is with this dream?! Why do I subconsciously want to have another wedding day? What is it about my hair?

Sigh…I have no idea. But I always wake up feeling a little drained after all the dream-stress…

But at least I did have good hair on the actual day….see?!

So…I have embraced autumn and dyed my hair red. Really red. The highlights from the wedding were fading fast and I wanted to have knock out hair for Mark’s birthday this week – so last night we sat and played hairdresser in the living room. Mark did the back roots for me and I think secretly enjoyed it when he got going!!

Hopefully by the party on Saturday after a couple of washes it will look even better than it does now. It’s a fairly drastic change and my brain is taking a while to get used to much darker hair.

I was going for hair a la Pheonix from X men 3 ( see above!)

Disappointment of the week is that I was hoping to wear my green corset to the party to fully sass up the hair and when trying it on last night realised that a combination of the wrong time of the month and married bliss means – there’s no way I’m wearing that corset and breathing…grrrr. Have to rethink outfit and try to lift myself out of the pit of ‘I’m fat’ despair. UPDATE: the joys of drinking more water and getting rid of yucky retention means that the corset did get to come and play at Mark’s birthday – hurrah!

Here it is….the Pheonix inspired hair….let’s just I hope I don’t go crazy and try to disintegrate the world…

This is one of Mark’s friends Andrew Mann back in Dublin and last night we were listening to some of his music when this came on. God used it to breakthrough and remind me how he loves me…I was in bits.

Why do I let it go for so long before I just let him in to whisper ‘you are loved’ to my soul?

Anyway – am posting and hope you hear Him too.

Today my mum phoned and told me that Gina – or Bean Bag as she was also known – had gone rapidly down hill and was expected to be euthanaised at lunchtime.

Gina was 15 – which is a good age for a standard poodle – and Mark and I had spent the last three goodbye snuggles – expecting them to be our last – so it’s no great surprise that she has finally passed on, but still – losing a family pet always leaves a gap.

My parents are goo-ey about their animals and it’s always heartbreaking to see them so upset. Lilly- our other poodle, will miss her terribly too.

We got Gina when I was 17 and she and her sister Rosie saved my parents lives by barking during the night to wkae them up when a fire raged in our home. They were 6 months old then and appeared on the local news as heroines!!

Gina was a hugely affectionate dog and loved nothing better then being the centre of attention and being lavished with love and strokes. She somehow was under the impression that standard poodles are lap dogs and often was to be found lying on top of a seated member of the family. If you stopped stroking her – she would throw a paw until you started again. If she thought she wasn’t being paid enough attention – she would ‘talk’ by making little moans and squeaks.

She was a terribly glamorous dog and knew it. When she was freshly clipped, she looked stunning.

She lost her sister Rosie too soon at aged 3 – but Lilly came along as an adopted little sister and duly settled under Gina’s top dog persona.

Gina loved walks on the beach, chasing squirrels and snuggling on my parents bed.

She will be dearly missed.

So Sunday night saw part 2 of MAke me a Christian and armed with a glass of white and some lovely Oakie girls for company – I bravely ventured on.

This week – we saw the lap dancer girl and her boyfriend challanged to sleep in separate rooms for one night. The cool thing was the girl who came to talk with them was a 27 year old stunningly gorgeous single Christian girl who was a virgin. Finally – a Christian who looks normal and cool and yet lives for Jesus. She giggled and suggested the diversionary tactic of a game of ‘pick up sticks’ when temptation got too much!!

The womanising bloke also met her and she challenged him to some boxing lessons to try and divert all his energy in a more productive way. When she told him she had been cheated on he sensitively asked if it was because she didn’t ‘put out’….nice.

Then they all went on a retreat…and all they really showed of this was a ramble in the fields to collect wild plants to make into soup….hmmm that’s exactly what my Christian walk entails!! There was a sticky moment when loud mouthed athiest respectfully joined the Muslim guy and learned how to pray with him. The first time we’ve seen him quiet and respectful yet! How he can mouth off about how Christians should be burned because they are all about rules and telling you how to live your life…then be all soft about Islam…is beyond me.

One of the best bits was the lesbian girl meeting a Christian who had given up a homosexual lifestyle after meeting Jesus – and it was a stong personal testimony that obviously made her think a bit.

They also did public foot washing on the streets and went to help out in a soup kitchen.

Overall this week was slightly better than last.I still don’t see much of what I know and love about Jesus reflected in this programme and it makes my heart ache to spend time with them and show them who it is I follow. Will be interesting to see how they get on in the last one next week.

I started re-readiong Bill Hybels’ book ‘Courageous Leadership’ yesterday and his vision of the local church and the power of Jesus through Christians to bring transformation reminded me again what it is I signed up for….

What can transform the human heart? This is what Bill writes:

‘I believe that only one power exists on this sorry planet that can do that. It’s the power of the love of Jesus Christ, the love that conquers sin and wipes out shame and heals wounds and reconciles enemies and patches broken dreams and ultimately changes the world, one life at a time.’

That’s what the leaders hoped to convey through their programme…I’m not sure they’ve managed it yet. The challenge is – how can we do it better? In our lives, in our churches?

Channel 4 on Sunday night aired the first of a three part seiries entitled ‘Make me a Christian’. I believe they did ‘Make me a Muslim’ last year.

Basically there are a bunch of vlunteers in various lifestyles and four Christian mentors (2 evangelical preachers, a female liberal C of E vicar and a Catholic priest)  are for three weeks – trying to persuade them to live according to the bible.

It is so hard to represent Christianity on documentaries like this. The editing for a start means you’re never sure what’s been left out and is hapopening behind the scenes. But my first impression of the show is that I am left wanting to sit with some of those guys down the pub and talk to them about the Jesus I know.

The show expects these volunteers to radically change their lifestyles solely on what the bible says – not on an actual encounter with Jesus. They are being taught in a sparse school hall with no atmosphere or hospitality. The lead guy has a flip chart to scribble on – WHY in this day of video presentations and powerpoints?!

The atheist biker had some great questions and thoughts and because he was mouthy – he wasn’t listened to – or at least that is how the programme was editted.

The lap dancer girl with huge dests and self-esteem issues – had all her pagan/occult books taken away – and was told off for seeking solace by sleeping with her boyfriend…it looked in the programme like she had had lots of stuff brought to the surface – but no pastoral care to help…and why was the female vicar not assigned to work with her instead of the going to the womanising guy who had slept with over 150 women.

And the busy family being told to spend time together by reading the bible for 15 minutes…I’ve never seen a family look SO bored.

There’s no need for following Jesus to be like this!!! Why weren’t they given some easier – more seeker friendly kind of bible study to do as a family – or encouraged to eat together at the table at least?

I have no idea what the next two episodes will bring….but looking at the forums on the internet – people are NOT impressed by Christianity at all and think we’re a load of brain washing, narrow minded weirdos….

Sigh…….

I’ll let you know what happens with the next two episodes. If you want to catch it – channel 4 Sunday nights at 7pm…

The last couple of days the boy has been away with work and I have had one evening to myself in the flat and a few hours yesterday in lieu of an evening Oak Tree thing last night.

I spent most of that time in front of the tv channel hopping…..bluergh! Nothing makes me feel so yucky.

Firstly, in my boredom I get hungry and keep nibbling on whatever is in the cupboards….and as we are juct back from holiday that makes some interesting combinations….blueberry stilton on pretzels anyone?!

Secondly, it makes me stop for a few moments on chat shows…I managed to take in a few minutes of Montel, Sally Jesse Raphael, Ricky Lake AND Jeremy Kyle yesterday…. and watched some kids who had been in the Asain Boxing Day Tsunami, couples who snore, loved ones with secrets and rebellious teenage daughters…Then I got sucked into bits of two episodes of my Big Fat Fabulous Wedding…stupidly ones I’d watched before…and felt smug that my wedding hadn’t been so extravagant and expensive and that I wasn’t a spoiled, label obsessed bride….and then felt bad for being so judgemental…

Then I hopped between Neighbours, Cold Case, Dawsons Creek….and by this time my brain was hurting.

I haven’t had a tv vegging time like that for a long time and I can see why! It’s horrible and not relaxing at all! I miss having flat mates to chat to when the boy’s not around.

I need to choose some more energing giving ways to relax whilst waiting for him to come home from work….

reading perhaps or having a bath or chilling out to some worship….anything to keep me away from Hollyoaks!!!!

My boss has said we are to treat August as a month for retreat, refreshing and relaxing so that when we start again in September, we aren’t burned out. So I am to be in the office as little as possible and use the rest of my time praying, reading, pastoral catch ups and the like. I’ll be blogging some of what I learn and read – so that I can show something for my time out of the office!!

I need some real self-control to not let it turn into a faff-fest with more tv vegetation. Otherwise I’ll feel guilty and not come back refreshed at all!!!!

In my pile of books to read so far are:

Is God a Delusion? – Nicky Gumbel answering some fo the Dawkins stuff

Secret Believers – about Muslims coming to Christ by Brother Andrew

Strengthen Yourself in the Lord – Bill Johnson – his teaching has been impacting my life in a big way this year – so am getting as much of it as I can!

The Seven Deadly Sins – Graham Tomlin – I did some research for this book so am enjoying finding my quotes as I read through!

We’ll see how we go!